Chris was born in 1980. August, in fact. So if you want to give me gifts, feel free.

He is attending UCSD with hopes of never graduating and having to face the real world. He is majoring in Biochemistry, but don't let that fool you. In actuality he knows less than you do. The only reason he picked chemistry, in fact, was that he wanted to blow stuff up. Needless to say he was sorely disappointed by his second quarter of college.

In his secret identity Chris has been known to save the world on two occasions. All with his trusty Swiss Army Knife, Duct tape, and a couple paperclips.

He died twice and was brought back to life because nobody really cared.

He writes. Therefore he is an inveterate liar. And you shouldn't believe a word you read by him or about him (including this).

Some have theorized that it was him on the grassy knoll that day.

He has understands the fundamentals of time travel. In fact, he made you read this by influencing small factors of your childhood.

He has warped your fragile little mind.

He likes to refer to himself in the third person (on blue moon occasions and on days ending in "W").

He reads stuff.

He has suddenly realized that this farce has gone on long enough.

If you e-mail him he will tell you things. Like if he's wearing any clothes right now and why it is that you always get that funny feeling in your pants when you see the nice lady.